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A Fable about Behavior

There was an older scribbler who kept himself randy by battling the threat of speeding time with every available natural health resource.

Beyond writing in his notebooks, he exercised adequately. He cooked his own food, ate sensibly. He maintained a positive outlook and regularly studied from the text "What Women Want!"

Yet the ladies he so yearned after gave him no play. To them his persona remained that of an aging fellow soon to die.

Then, because of a surge of interest in 'old style matters', our vigorous senior, advantaging the streak, made a bundle by way of a quaint bestseller on amorous behavior entitled "Spooning."

The reviewers lauded the slight volume as "romantic and emotionally wise." His adoring, mostly mature female audience decided he was a "courtly authority with marvelous charisma."

Naturally, the subsequent upsurge in disposable income and social value affected his libido. Crude, though passionate, sexual involvements now dominated his every dream-which hardly depended on sleep anymore. His bloodshot eyes bulged from their sockets because of the constant whipping back and forth, and to and fro, in ambitious craving after attractive female passersby. His drooling bottom lip remained chapped from the furious swabbings of his hot, abstracted tongue.

Bigger problem was that he practiced these pursuits only in guilty concealment. Peeking from behind half-closed doors. Peering, with binoculars, through drawn window blinds.

For so concerned he had grown about his newfound and valuable reputation, he just could not bring himself to dare an impromptu approach.

Moral: Niceness is not allure.